What Miss 7 Taught Me About Regulation

Autism Words You Hear a Lot (And What They Actually Look Like in Our House)

When your child is autistic, you start hearing a lot of new words.
Stimming. Sensory seeking. Sensory overload. Regulation. Meltdowns. Shutdowns.

They sound very clinical. Very textbook.
But real life doesn’t look like a textbook.
It looks like a little girl running a bath at 4pm because the day was too loud.

One of the words people ask me about most is stimming.

Stimming is just a way the nervous system helps itself feel safe.
It can look like rocking, humming, spinning, tapping, repeating words, flapping, chewing, or seeking pressure.
It’s not something to “stop.”
It’s communication without words.

For Miss 7, stimming often looks like water.

When the world feels noisy or too much, she asks for a bath.
Not because she’s dirty.
Because water helps her reset.
It’s warm, predictable, quiet, and contained.
That’s regulation.
That’s emotional intelligence in a tiny human body.

Another word you hear is sensory overload.
That doesn’t mean “she’s being dramatic.”
It means her brain is processing more input than it can safely hold at that moment.

Recently Miss 7 has become sensitive to smells.
Food smells. Cleaning products. Other people’s perfume.
Things that never bothered her before now feel overwhelming.
And when something smells “wrong,” her whole body reacts.

That’s not behaviour.
That’s her nervous system saying, “This is too much.”

Then there’s sensory seeking vs sensory avoiding.

Some days she craves input: water, movement, pressure, touch.
Other days she needs less: less noise, less smell, less talking.
And it changes constantly.

There is no fixed version of autism.
There is no checklist that fits every child.

Stimming isn’t a problem to solve.
It’s a tool.
It’s coping.
It’s communication.
It’s self-protection.

So when someone asks,
“What does stimming look like?”
My answer is:

Sometimes it looks like flapping.
Sometimes it looks like rocking.
And sometimes…
it looks like a little girl quietly filling a bathtub because her body knows exactly what it needs.

And honestly?
That’s kind of beautiful.

A Gentle Note for Educators & Therapists

This blog is written from lived experience as a parent, not as a clinician or therapist. Every autistic child is different, and sensory needs, regulation strategies, and stimming behaviours can vary widely from person to person and over time. The examples shared here reflect what supports one child in one family and are not intended to replace professional advice, assessment, or individualised support plans. We encourage educators, therapists, and families to work collaboratively, observing each child’s unique needs and responding with curiosity, compassion, and flexibility.

At the heart of it all, every child is simply finding their own way to feel safe, settled, and understood.