Gentle Parenting vs. "Loud" Parenting: A Wall-Sized Lesson in Reality

Gentle Parenting vs. "Loud" Parenting: A Wall-Sized Lesson in Reality

Let’s talk parenting styles.
Not to judge. Not to lecture. Just to say — sometimes, gentle parenting looks more like a crime scene clean-up crew and less like a peaceful Pinterest board. And if you’re raising a neurodivergent child like I am, you’ll know the “gentle” bit isn’t always about volume — it’s about trying really bloody hard not to lose your mind when you’re running on 2 hours of sleep and your walls are covered in Sharpie.

So today, I want to share a story. One that had me laughing (later), gritting my teeth (immediately), and realizing that no one is getting this parenting thing perfect — especially not me.

💥 The Incident

Today’s parenting win? I didn’t yell.

But let me set the scene.

Miss 6 — my fiercely creative, wonderfully neurodivergent daughter — found a pen. A pen. Despite us hiding them in high, mysterious locations like we’re safeguarding state secrets, she managed to get one. And what did she do with this magical tool?

Well… she left some very special drawings across several walls and quilt covers like a mini Banksy on a sensory spree.

My first instinct? Yell. Loudly. Possibly combust.
But instead, I took a deep, shaky breath and said,

“I’m disappointed you chose to draw on the walls instead of giving the pen to me when you found it.”

And then I handed her a magic eraser.

We cleaned together.
She thought it was the best time ever.
I was gritting my teeth like a Victorian dentist trying to stay calm, explaining why maybe, just maybe, wall murals aren’t the best life choice in our household.

The quilt cover? Gone. It was $10 from Kmart, so I’ve emotionally released it into the void. The walls are fine (bless you, magic eraser), and the house is once again art-free… for now.

But I’ll say this loud and clear:
If she does it again? Oh, you bet I’ll yell.

Because here’s the truth: no parenting style is perfect.

We all have different approaches — some parents are gentle, calm and softly spoken. Others are louder, more reactive, or a glorious blend of both depending on the day and the amount of caffeine consumed.

And when you’re raising kids on the spectrum, especially the spirited, curious, and determined kind, perfection is a myth. It’s all trial, error, love, forgiveness — and the occasional trip to Kmart for a new quilt cover.

So today, I gently parented.
Tomorrow? We’ll see. 😅

💛 Final Thoughts

If you’re the kind of parent who sometimes nails it and sometimes yells “WHY IS THERE TOOTHPASTE ON THE DOG?” — you’re not alone.

We’re all doing our best. Some days that means mindful redirection and deep breathing. Other days it means yelling from the kitchen while making 6 different dinners for 4 children.

And guess what?
You’re still a good parent.

Just maybe keep a few extra quilt covers on standby. 😅