Breaking the Cycle: Parenting Differently When You Were Raised Differently

Breaking the Cycle: Parenting Differently When You Were Raised Differently

Growing up, many of us were raised in households where discipline came in the form of threats, yelling, or even spanking. It was part of the culture, part of the norm—and often passed down through generations without question.

Now here we are, parenting in a new era. One where we're trying to lead with connection, not control. One where we want to understand our kids instead of just managing them. And when you’re parenting a child with autism? That cycle-breaking becomes even more complex... and even more important.

The Old Tools Don’t Work Anymore (And That’s a Good Thing)

What seemed to work in our childhood homes often falls apart when applied to neurodivergent children. Kids with autism aren’t being “naughty” or “defiant”—they’re often overwhelmed, overstimulated, or misunderstood. Traditional punishments don’t teach emotional regulation. They teach fear, shutdowns, and mistrust.

And yet… in the heat of a tough day, when everyone’s running on empty, those old instincts come creeping back. That’s normal. It’s human. But we can choose differently.

The Internal Battle: Who We Were vs. Who We’re Becoming

If you’ve ever heard yourself say something you swore you never would—welcome to the club. Healing while parenting is like rebuilding a plane while flying it. You're not just raising a child, you're also reparenting yourself.

And that can be messy. It’s grief for what you didn’t get. Guilt for what you might’ve done. But it’s also growth—and that growth is something to be proud of.

Parenting with Autism in the Picture

Parenting a child with autism adds a beautiful, complex layer to this journey. You’re not just breaking a cycle; you’re building an entirely new parenting model—one filled with accommodations, advocacy, and adaptation.

Some days, it's magical. Other days, it feels like you're juggling flaming sensory balls with no training. But even then—you’re showing up, learning, and loving in a way your child feels. That matters more than you know.

The Win Is in the Trying

You don’t have to be perfect. You won’t be. But you are present.

Every time you pause instead of yell, every time you choose empathy over punishment—you’re changing the narrative. You're showing your child that big feelings are safe, that mistakes are okay, and that love doesn’t come with conditions.

That’s what breaking the cycle looks like.

Sensory Supports: Your Secret Weapon

When big emotions rise, sometimes words won’t help—but sensory tools will. These calming aids aren’t crutches—they’re bridges. They help our kids feel safe, regulate their bodies, and navigate overwhelming situations.

Here are a few of our favourites:

• Weighted Comforts – [Link to weighted blankets or lap pads] for deep pressure and calming.

• Chewelry & Oral Tools – [Link to chewelry] for kids who regulate through oral input.

• Noise-Cancelling Headphones – [Link to headphones] for quiet when the world gets too loud.

• Fidgets & Stim Toys – [Link to fidgets] for busy hands and calmer minds.

• Visual Calming Aids – [Link to calm-down bottles or timers] for peaceful transitions and routine clarity.

Explore our Sensory Tools & Fidgets collection for hand-picked resources that support emotional regulation and sensory needs.

You’ve got this. And on the days you don’t? We’ve got you.

Here at Sensory Planet, we believe every family deserves the tools to thrive—without judgment, shame, or outdated rules. We're cheering for you, cycle-breaker.